Editor’s Note: Paula D’Arcy is Transformations’ third Voices of Wisdom speaker. This story gives a hint of what D’Arcy’s visit will offer the community.
How does one survive a personal tragedy, let alone grow through it? Ask Paula D’Arcy about her experience.
In 1975 Paula, her husband and two year old daughter were on their way home from her parents’ house where they had announced the wonderful news that they were expecting a second child. Their vehicle was hit by a drunk driver, taking the lives of her husband and daughter.
How do you bury your family and not your own soul, too? When those memories of lost loved ones bring you such pain, how do you retain them in your heart and introduce them to their sister and daughter once she is born? How do you move through a tragedy and past it? How do learn and grow and not let your circumstances control you?
A psychotherapist by training, Paula D’Arcy continues to work through the emotions day by day. She has turned her tragedy into an opportunity to help others through her books, retreats, speaking engagements and the play “On My Way Home.” She also founded the
Red Bird Foundation, to create learning opportunities to foster personal and spiritual growth for people in need throughout the world.
Luckily, most of us will never experience something as tragic at D’Arcy’s story, however change is a part of all of our lives and one we generally resist.
D’Arcy believes we severely limit our growth and potential by failing to trust love, and thus, succumbing to fear. We fear failing, losing what we love, or not measuring up to others’ expectations -- to name a few. There is another way -- the way of love and trust. It isn’t easy to trust, especially in a culture in which people would much rather amuse and distract themselves than step out of their comfort zone and come awake.
"Acceptance and healing had begun in earnest for me when I became willing to see beauty in exactly what I'd been given. As soon as I stopped holding onto memories, or even to the way I wanted my life to unfold, I began taking in how it was unfolding." says D’Arcy in "Sacred Threshold."
Her work led her to be named a Living Spiritual Teacher by SpiritualityAndPractice.com. It says: “For D'Arcy, problems are not something to shrink our hopes or dash our dreams. They are a summons to take a hard look at ourselves and to probe beneath the surface. The idea that we can attain certainty and control in our lives is an illusion. Instead, she challenges us to ‘live with mystery, which demands trust and great fidelity to deeper truths, not to external realities.’ For D'Arcy, following all the rules can put a crimp on creativity. We need to move beyond the rules to another realm: ‘Beyond the bounds of earthly love is where a greater love begins in earnest.’”
D’Arcy has worked with a number of beautiful souls during her career. She worked professionally with Morrie Schwartz, the subject of the New York Times bestselling book and movie "Tuesdays with Morrie." In walking with Schwartz through the last phase of his life, she witnessed how he blossomed. She wondered what would life would be like for the rest of us if we gave up pretensions and striving and learned to live with total trust in a power outside ourselves,
before we were on our death beds. She has dedicated her life to sharing this message of hope, healing and courage with audiences around the world.
She has also worked with Father Richard Rohr, of the Center for Action and Contemplation. They have hosted retreats and recorded an audio CD, Spirituality and the Two Halves of Life. Father Rohr describes her as a “true second-half-of-life teacher. Her work and experiences are a beacon for those of us striving to life a full life along the journey.”
D’Arcy says: “Don’t get ahead of your soul. The goal isn't to get somewhere. The goal isn't about forcing something to happen. The goal is to be in harmony with the gifts that are already given. The goal is to fall into your life.”
Originally from a dairy farm outside Ann Arbor, Jenni Piper now resides on a little patch of heaven in Climax, Mich., with her husband and four sons. She thrives on helping growth and creation, from her garden to her kitchen, to her family and community.
Crossing Thresholds
June 22, 2012
9 a.m. – 3 p.m.
Transformations Spirituality Center 3427 Gull Road at Nazareth.
Paula D’arcy will lead a program from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m, Friday, June 22, at Transformations Spirituality Center on Gull Road in Kalamazoo/Nazareth. The program, titled Crossing Thresholds, will lead participants across life’s many thresholds and explore authentic ways of moving into the next stages of life.
Registration is $60 and includes the program and lunch. More information and registration for the event is available at
online, by writing info@transformationscenter.org or calling 269-381-6290 ext. 310. Registration is $60 and includes the program and lunch.
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